Winter in Florida

So, winter has finally hit my old state.  Now, there is a common misconception that we don't have winter in Florida.  We do.  It's just two weeks longs, and comes a couple days at a time.  Florida winter would be any morning you wake up and the temperature is less than 40 degrees.  It only gets this way when we have a cold front, so we get a very windy, often times damp, 30 some odd degree morning.  Yeah, its not really a fun situation to be sure.  To complicate matters, by afternoon, it'll be 60-something and sunny.  How do you dress for that?  Layers.  But the colds never really around enough to figure out what layers.  No one wants to be carrying around all these layers either by mid afternoon.  So you go home from work, its cool and sunny.  You leave for work and its like "Holy crap, when did this happen?"  This happens for a few days a few times a year.  You never get the chance to adjust.  After 22 years, I admit I never got the hang of it either.

But the first cold front of the year has hit Florida. I can tell by people on my Facebook page saying things like, "It's 35 degrees?!?  This is Florida!" and posting links to newspaper articles talking about heavy frost and how we won't have any citrus crop and ITS THE BEGINNING OF THE APOCALYPSE!!! The Mayans meant Jan 4, 2012, not Dec 21.  Keep pets and children indoors!  Don't burn down your house with a space heater.  Only, this happens every year.  More than once.  And this is what happens every.single.time.

Yes, apparently cold is 50 degrees for a low. (Mom is somewhere right now saying "Well it's cold to me!"  Aren't you?)

I mean, if it snowed, which is has, I think people would faint.  This is out of our area of knowledge.  Sure, we know summer.  Oh boy, do we know summer. I we know those of you who do not.  Yes, I am looking at you, sunburned, spandex wearing British tourist on International Drive.  You and your tomato red clan. It's called sunblock. And no, you can't just keep drinking beer like you do at home.  Because after 2 or 3 on the beach, we will have to call an ambulance because you didn't want to be a sissy and drink any water with that.

So, since I fully believe I am the most winterized native Floridian that has ever existed, I will say this: That is not a cold snap, that's a heat wave.

Black ice and slush

I'd like to take a few moments and talk about two weather conditions I have experienced in Kodiak so far and have not discussed - black ice and slush.

I know black ice.  In Florida.  It's what happens when it hasn't rained in a while so oil collects on the roads and when it rains just a bit, well, oil floats and then so does your car.  It isn't pretty.  But the stuff I am talking about is actual ice.  It's a very thin layer of ice that forms and can be hard if not impossible to see on the road.  Lucky for me, driving on this black ice is the same as the stuff I am used to, so no problems there.

Walking is another story.  I slip and slide but thankfully have not fallen due to it yet.  In fact, I almost ate it walking to my car this morning.  But I think I'm starting to master this walking stuff.  And by master I mean I walk on the grass because there is no thin sheet of ice there.  Just crunchy frost.  HA! I win!  On a side note, the ground does freeze.  I pointed this out to the fiancé while he was here and said something along the lines of "Well, at least it's not the tundra."  He kindly pointed out that frozen ground was the definition of tundra, even if its not that way all year.  So I live in the tundra now.  Great.
 

The next item is slush.  Like, when the snow melts or it snowed that morning but is now raining.  So you get 3 or 4 inches of what looks like a slush puppie on the ground.  Not even the good quality slurpee stuff, but the other kind.
 

At least I don't slip and slid on that, but getting around becomes a challenge because you need boots high enough.  Hey look my snow boots work well for that!  Alright I'm in business.  But seriously.  This stuff is usually pretty dirty and nasty.  It has killed all appeal for drinks of the semi-frozen sort.  At least its good for the diet.

My first 10 weeks, part 2 – snow gear

So a week or so after I got here, we got the first frost of the year.  And needless to say I was totally unprepared.  After thawing out my car by just turning it on and letting it run, I got to work.  And I explained to those around me that HOLY COW ITS FROSTY OUT THERE OH MY GOD WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO?!!?!?  After the laughter stopped, we decided I needed 3 things:

1: An ice scrapper.  Not a little one, but a big one. 

2: Get the windshield wiper fluid that defrosts your windows.

3: Waterproof shoes.  Because my Florida tennis shoes that were mess on top were not going to cut it.

With my list, I go out into town.  I first stop at the sporting goods store.  I had been in there before, and I knew they had shoes.  So after trying on a few pairs, I settle on a nice pair of hiking boots.  Because, well, I want to go hiking too.  So I get some that are sturdy, cover my ankle, and are waterproof.  I am set to go.  Until she asks me, “Are you sure you don’t want to try these on with wool socks to make sure they fit right?”

Wool socks?  No one mentioned wool socks

“….*blank stare* No one told you about wool socks?  Cotton just won’t do up here.  Those are no good in winter.  Here, try these.”

Um, ok.  A $16 pair of socks.  I’m convinced she’s  just trying to get me to buy more but I comply anyway because I already feel stupid.  So, $120 later, I am on my way to the auto store in search for my other two items.

When I walk in, I ask the lady where I can find ice scrappers and windshield wiping fluid.  She says that they don’t have them out, it’s too early in the year.  But there have already been morning with frost, so I am convinced this lady is crazy.  I NEED this stuff, why couldn’t she see that?  Fortunately, the have what I need, just not on display.  Someone offers to get one for me.  They ask what size ice scrapper I need.  “One of the big ones with the brush on the end for snow,” I say, confident in my answer.  That’s what I had been told to ask for, so I know its going to get me what I need. 

Now, before I explain this last bit, let me first tell you my experience with ice scrappers.  My mother had one from one year her car got covered in frost and some passerby took pity on her and gave her one.  It is smaller than my dad’s iPhone , but I’ve grown up seeing it and I think this is a normal size.  I’m thinking a big one is maybe 8 inches long.  Enough for the handle in-between.  Imagine my surprise when the stock guy pulls out this 24 inch long thing with a broom on one end.  “This is the small size, but you don’t want this.  Hold on, I’ll get a bigger one.”

What.The.Hell.

“Here, this is the medium size one.  Its maybe 30 inches long, but we have one that’s 36 inches and has a telescoping handle!”  Um, yeah, my car isn’t that big.  I think the medium one will be just fine. “Are you sure?” Yep.  I grab this….broom thing and some anti-frost windshield stuff and hit the checkout.  The lady is pleased I have found what I have asked about.  This stop is much cheaper, only about $20.  I go to leave, but then I turn around, remembering I don’t know how to use said broom thing.  The lady laughs at me (I’ve gotten used to it at this point) and she explains I use the brush to sweep the snow away and the other end to scrape the ice.  I am still dumbfounded.  But the lady says that people here are friendly and will notice that I am clueless and will help me figure it all out when it snows.  Feeling confident in my new found snow gear, I leave the store and head back to base.  I just knew that with these three things, I could handle anything Kodiak threw at me.  I was ready.

I thought.